Rover's return

xxlynne · Rover's return

Partly hidden here in case family are watching Alfies thread but now he is back I dont care. Just want Alfie's thread to be clear.

Alfie was bought back today as the children that usually come every other weekend made an unscheduled visit. 2 out of the 3 children loved him but the little boy was scared and shut himself in the garage.

The father therefore simply made his mind up that they couldn't have Alfie as his son was scared. Shocked

I tried to explain that Alfie isn't in anyway threatening and therefore his fear was totally unfounded. Wouldn't it be good for the Father to work on different ways for the child to build his confidence up? (Behind that statement I was saying surely you are not feeding into your child's irrational fears!) Deaf ears. Father wanted to use this as a statement of his 'caring for his children' Ex-wife had also made a statement the children wouldn't visit with the 'dog' there. So father gave full power to his ex-wife and young child, allowing them to set the agenda on not only his life but his new partners. No they wouldn't except our offer of putting Alfie in kennels for a few weekends until time had healed and playing to the father "I care for you" rational or until we homed Alfie. No they wouldn't keep him until Friday morning giving us time to sort something out for Alfie knowing he had spend over a year in kennels.

People lead very selfish and very shallow lives. They fail to appreciate what lessons they ACTUALLY teach their children. (I'll say it as I'm feeling it Spoilt brxts)They fail to be strong and stand up for the rights of their new partners but trash their feelings in favour of 'infants’ feeling'. Had my say but oh what it feels like to have our dogs treated as pawns in emotional games. EKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Tina D

Isn't it funny though, taht you think you have found a kind and loving home only to find out that they are really callous and uncaring!? Surely it wouldn't have hurt them to have kept Alfie until Friday, especially if the kids only visit at the weekend??

Also, what if the ex-wife wouldn't let the kids visit while a new girlfriend was there? would it have meant the end of that relationship or would he have fought for it??

I can understand if Alfie had growled at the child or something but it is like he is being punished for no reason. I hope that they don't go and get a more 'acceptable' dog from another rescue.

It is just another example of how dogs are a casualty in this throwaway society! people also don't seem to realise that if they take a dog and bring it back it can damage the dog more than if it had just stayed in kennels and could harm it's chances of actually finding a home that will love them unconditionally...forever

Ruthi

We are all on Alfie's side here, but maybe we shouldn't judge father without knowing the background. There may well be history with the ex wife and he is terrified of her using any excuse she can find to keep the children away. If the ex had been more sensible and supportive you might well have a different story. But if she is looking for excuses to limit contact, and to punish dad in whatever way she can, what better way than to make sure he can't keep the new dog? Children and dogs are all legitimate weapons in the war of the exes, apparently.

I am excluded from all family celebrations with my step-children, and am not fit to take them on holiday, apparently! What is my husband to do? Allow his children to suffer while he makes a stand? Or rely on his new wife to be grown up about it?

To be honest I am not sure I would want to give it 5 days in order to get even more attached to Alfie.

karen

Perhaps we need to rewrite our adoption contract to state that all relationships require at least a mimimum of effort to be put into them and introducing a new member to the family requires time, guidance and patience for things to settle Confused

Or should we just call it 'stating the bleeding obvious' Evil or Very Mad

Sorry, Ruthie, the bit above is not in response to your post. I hadn't seen yours. I am a slow typer Rolling Eyes

I started the day off thinking very similar thoughts to you too, but................................................................

Tina D

I suppose that, yes, we are all on Alfie's side and are mainly looking at it from his point of view but if they really did feel that they had to give him back, the least they could have done for him is to keep him for a few more days until RR could find him a better place to stay. I understand that they would have then probably got more attached but they made a commitment to him, which they then broke (maybe for reasons beyond their control) so they should have put him ahead of their feelings for the short time asked.

How many of us have done things that were for the benefit of the animal, rather than for the benefit of us? Whether it be to make the decision to pts because the animal is suffering when you really want just one more day with them, or to take them out in the rain when you have a stinking cold and want to be in bed, or made liver cake even thought it is disgusting but the dog really loves it??

Having a dog is not something that should be entered into lightly and i personally would have thought that it would involve a little bit of self sacrifice, even if you decide that you cannot continue to care for them

xxlynne

PS some of our terrier owners hold onto to their dogs for 6-9 months awaiting a good home rather than see a dog go into kennels! The difference is this about ME Me ME or is there maturity to recognise the dependent position the dog is in, i.e. responsibility and empathy!

julieh · Re: Rover's return

Tina D

Bud

I know I say this time and time again but I would sell my boyfriend, my mother. my father and my boyfriends brother....who has been a god send...to keep Bud....my parents hate dogs since we got him we were not allowed to visit. We used to see them nearly every weekend when they were in the UK (live in Portugal most of the time) but unless Lee (boyfriends brother) has him we dont go!! People tell me they (parents)are not on this planet long and I shouldn't be so selfish....I ignore them!! its quiet easy...

Ruthi

I agree there are some truly heroic people out there (just look at Lynne and Dee, for example!!) but there are also lots of normal people, with weaknesses just like me. Not all of them are going to be bad owners, and 'good enough' needs to be good enough. If we don't accept homes that are slightly marginal occasionally then somewhere, in some pound, dogs will die because we were too picky about the homes. There's a balance, of course, and I am lucky enough not to have to deal with the inevitable outcome when one of those homes turns out to be not quite good enough.

[and I wonder what the average failure rate is for rescues - just an idle wonder?]

I'm opting for heroes for Alfie, though.

karen

Taking dogs back into kennels from a home is always very hard, but even with the best will in the world it is going to happen now and then. Some people do their utmost to try and make it work but sometimes it just isn't going to happen. Everybody understands that. I have taken dogs back from people that I just want to hug and assure them that things will work out for the best.

This was not one of those times. The child is not afraid of dogs, apparently loves his friend's 'bouncey Staff.' The other two children were very happy. The kid was playing up and I bet my bottom dollar, had they called his bluff, he would have given up. His problem was not Alfie. Although they discarded Alfie, I'll also bet they still have a problem with that kid. I appreciate that the ex is a complicating factor here and could have played on it but they needed to tackle the child.

They also could not wait to return him, despite the fact the children had left. They set off even before we had a chance to confirm the kennel space for him. To me that is unforgivable - and I am talking first thing Monday morning. He deserves some respect Evil or Very Mad

Tina D

well said and well done, Karen! Hopefully Scooby will like his new playmate! Very Happy

karen

Sorry, Tina, he is not here with me, but at Farnham Kennels Sad

Tina D

I misread your post Embarassed

I thought you said that you were taking him Monday morning

*note to self: don't post nonsense when you are tired!!*

Fingers crossed someone will come forward for him soon

Rover's return

Re: Rover's return